Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Fabrication no. 2 (Anecdote)

True story, yeah, my friend’s cousin, she’s like a nurse who does home help for sick people? Anyway, there was this guy, yeah, and he had diabetes and he’d had his leg amputated ’cos he smoked and his arteries were all hard and the blood couldn’t get to ’em. So my girlfriend’s cousin who’s the nurse, she says to him you’ve got to stop smoking ’cos otherwise you’ll end up losing the other leg and he’s just like, I don’t care. And then he has to have the other leg taken off and she says look, will you stop smoking ’cos you’ve gone and lost both your legs and he just says it don’t matter now, they’re both gone, know what I mean? And then what happens, right, is he has a stroke ’cos of the fags and that, and he can’t use either of his arms, and he’s just sat in this wheelchair with no legs and a pair of arms that don’t work and she just says, right, you’ve smoked and smoked and smoked and now you’ve got no legs and you’re arms don’t work. Surely, you’ve got to see now that it’s not any good for you with your diabetes and your stroke and stuff, so you’ve just got to quit, or you’ll die. And he just says never mind that, love, reach in my coat pocket, there’s a packet of fags there and a box of matches. And he just made her stand there for two hours, lighting cigarettes for him and putting them in and out of his mouth while he smoked ’em, and she had to go round every day and do that ’til he died. True story.

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